“I was gone for a minute but now I’m back with the jumpoff!”
So, where did I go?
To tell you the truth, I just got lost in my own sauce. I was so excited to start writing. I had found a groove and a timing that would work for me. GREAT! “I’m ready” The easy part was done, now it was time for the fun part…to write!
Or so I thought.
Somehow when it came down to it I suddenly felt that I had nothing to say!
I second guessed every post I considered.
I started and stopped a number of topics I wanted to share.
I began censoring my thoughts before they could even ink a page.
And I started invalidating what it was I wanted to say.
I think it has a lot to do with fear, which I know far too well. The fear of success, the fear of failure. Not wanting to offend or alienate. Not wanting to say too much. Not wanting to say too little and not be truthful.
Writing for me is very personal, it’s not just some words strewn together to make a sentence. It’s a tissue for your tears, a hand to stifle a laugh, it’s the air from a gasp, it’s a tool to help you feel an emotion even if it’s that little thing that makes you smile. That being said, blogging as well as the current state of social interaction battles my instinct to keep things to myself, to not over share with those that don’t know me extremely well. Seems like a Catch 22!
This new age of sharing is an interesting thing for me but I’m going to try it out. I can credit my sister for helping me get out of my own funk and remembering that there are things worth sharing. I was also reminded that my words are valid. I have a Jillian Michaels DVD, and she says to “Get comfortable with being uncomfortable” and I guess I’m going to do just that!! Every day is a new day. I’m giving myself license to start fresh each day and get excited again about what I like to do, which is share stories and embrace life. I hope you will too!
P.S. – I can’t make these music references and then not share the goods!! Click on:
Return of the Mack – Mark Morrison
The Jumpoff – Lil Kim featuring Mr. Cheeks *EXPLICIT*