So I was cleaning out my draft emails and found this passage I wrote back in October.  It’s short. Heavy. But definitely truthful.

October 30, 2014

I’m Angry

Maybe it’s PMS or maybe it’s grief!  I’m angry! I’ve been walking around feeling just pissed at everyone and everything today.  I don’t feel happy and then again why should I?  Last weekend I buried my grand aunt, the first person in my own personal core of family who I spoke with and sought out whenever we were at family functions.  In my family we get together OFTEN.  There is always something to celebrate and we just like being together.  Now add to that people that you like and cannot wait to see and be around.  She was an adult, an elder, that I enjoyed speaking with. Never an unkind word or gossip, always smiling and she was a great hugger.  I pride myself on being a great hugger so believe me I know…  :\ but anyway, we didn’t sit and talk for hours but she was someone I would stop what I was doing to make sure I greeted her and shared a few words.  Out of respect, and out of love. 

My aunt was diagnosed with liver cancer in March of this year, underwent chemo and surgery and was cleared of cancer in July.  It came back in October with a vengeance and that was it.  That was it.  I didn’t even know about it until October, so really and truly… that was it.


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